“Bacio” is Italian for “kiss”. Many of us are preparing for the big day next week and hoping Wednesday night will end with a little more than a few kisses. (Read more about the love story behind the creation of Baci Chocolate)
Keeping a relationship alive is much more than celebrating special dates. Here is some great information on the science of smooching we learned from the Gottman Institute. Kissing releases several different hormones: “Oxytocin is responsible for the comfort and connection that forms between mother and child and may explain the way kissing bonds us to another. Kissing also releases dopamine, which triggers the same part of your brain that is stimulated by cocaine. Those butterflies in your stomach, they come from epinephrine and norepinephrine, which increase your heartbeat and send oxygenated blood to your brain. Some studies have even shown that kissing can cause a reduction in the hormone cortisol. Cortisol is a stress hormone, so kissing could help lower your blood pressure and prevent heart attacks.”
In theory, all this information is fine and dandy, but how do we apply it to our chaotic lives? As John Gottman likes to say, “A six-second kiss is a kiss with potential.” It doesn’t have to be more than that. It’s just a great, oxytocin and dopamine release that will bring you closer to your loved one.
So this week and the many weeks after that, ask your loved one: “Kissing burns 6.4 calories a minute – Wanna workout?”
We know that kissing alone is not the only ingredient to romance. Here are 10 Divine tips from Susan Semeniw, President and lead “love coach” of Divine Intervention. on how to keep your relationship invigorated.
It’s a fact that relationships take nurturing, work, communication and compromise. Valentine’s Day is around the corner so make sure you treat your partner with respect and show some attention the other 364 days of the year.
Everyone has issues – if you have a pulse something is going on. Relationships can get predictable and routine so it’s important to put effort in just like you did in the early stages.
Tip #1: Compliments are always appreciated and make someone feel wanted – and that you’re paying attention to them. Compliment your partner’s clothing, cooking, a clean house, hair, smell, a mood (you’re calm and happy today)! A man especially loves knowing that his wife is hot for him. Say I’m lucky to have you. AND THANK YOUR partner for the great things they do.
Tip #2: Kissing is a must and keeps couples intimately connected. It’s quick and easy to do. Make-out sessions can really turn up the heat. And can add to the anticipation of what’s to come a future time. Touch each other when you’re relaxing watching a movie or sitting on the couch. Laugh together.
Tip #3: Schedule a date night for yourselves that’s realistic based on your schedules. Talk about things that are light hearted, aspirational, exciting and not routine or mundane. Stay away from everyday kid talk, chores, etc.
Tip #4: Different ways of saying “I love you” are easy to do. Put a cute two-liner love note in his/her purse/briefcase for them to open once at the office. This is an Instant mood changer. Saying I love you when you mean it never gets old. You can also make his/her lunch and stick a note on it saying “have a great day at work.” A quick meaningful text is also nice.
Tip #5: Don’t go to bed angry or bring up contentious issues when you’re about to sleep. Pick a neutral spot and appropriate time to discuss serious matters. Say good night and seal the evening off with a kiss.
Tip #6: Hang out with positive happy people. That will naturally rub off on you. A positive couple friend as well can have a terrific influence on your relationship.
Tip #7: Don’t hold a grudge. If you are in a heated discussion don’t bring up resolved issues from before. Move forward and release the past.
Tip #8: Really listen to your partner. Don’t interrupt. Learn to fight fair. You say something. Be quiet and then let the other speak uninterrupted. Then after you can take your turn to talk. To make sure you understood your partner paraphrase back what you think they said to you.
Tip #9: Do something new with your partner and break out of old routines and predictability. Walk somewhere new, try a new restaurant, a new holiday location, or a fun activity. Try something new in the bedroom.
Tip #10 is for Valentine’s Day – what can you do to make it special.
What does your partner value? Can you ask direct questions to see what would surprise them? Flowers to the office (women love being acknowledged publicly), buying a great bottle of wine or champagne or beer. A massage, etc. You can also use this day to mention that you would like to plan a weekend getaway together and then you both can have something to look forward to.
For those of you planning a dinner out, make a reservation now through www.opentable.com. or do take out from your favourite place if you don’t feel like cooking a special meal. And everyone can get a card. Make sure to personalize it. Write down the top 10 reasons I love you or our 10 most memorable moments or 10 things I look forward to doing with you . Any form of reminiscing is fun and positive memories bond you together and shows you look forward to future.
Additionally here are Vancouver’s most romantic restaurants according to open table.
- Five Sails Pan Pacific
- Seasons in the Park – Queen Elizabeth
- Teahouse – Stanley park
Here’s a toast to love.